Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
