the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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