Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
