my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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