Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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