We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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