But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
