trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
