Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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