well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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