Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
