If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
