you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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