problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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