So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
