i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
