My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
