if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
