I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
