just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
