the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
