it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
