Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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