So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
