Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
