youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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