When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
