Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
