Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
