i think i have two assholes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
