he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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