Pants 0. Shit 1.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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