did you get engaged???
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
