Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
