It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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