But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
