i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
