My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
