she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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