I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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