Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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