It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
