I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
