Just cropdusted the office
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
