whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
