I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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