He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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