So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
