He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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