I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
