Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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