I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
