The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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